What's the point of a blog with no new updates? But sometimes my spaghetti brain is going into too many directions to settle down into a nice rhythmic flow of words. So bear with me if this blog makes no sense or is just a humble -jumble of topics.
Some days I just want so badly to call up my friend, Elaine who passed away of breast-cancer June 10th. I want to talk, ask questions, lend a listening ear, I want to be able to travel to Virginia and sit with her again and laugh and cry and drink tea with her. I want to go back to the last time I hugged her, and hold on a little longer. We both knew it would be the last hug. It was so hard. She told me how hard it was to let go of life when her children needed her so badly. I wish I would have understood better. I wish I could have encouraged her better.
I remember as a school teacher and boarding with the Highs, she "begged" me to tell her anything I noticed about her that she could be a better person, a better mother. Now as a mother myself, I want to go back to her and ask her for advice and tell her what a wonderful job she did!
Lately someone asked me to please consider making a phone call to talk with/ encourage someone. My reply? " I'm too scared." The next day Todd Miller preached an excellent sermon on Courage. Wow. Sometimes, I am such a coward ! I plan on making that call tonight and I'm actually looking forward to it in a shaky sort of way.
Someone else needs help and encouragement. They are on a slippery slope. Would I please invite them into my home? And fear whispers, " You fail too much already! How could you ever help someone else? Besides, you still have so much to learn about being a mother and wife, how do you think you could 'reach around' emotionally?" But another gentle voice whispers, "Maybe I want you to do this for your own growth, don't let fear limit My Power!" I don't know what the next half year holds but I'm glad I don't have to rely on my own strength !
Joyce Meyer says, " Everything we run away from has power over us; everything we go through, we conquer." and Jesus says, "My strength is made perfect in weakness."
I'm grateful for my children who can be so frustrating and yet so fun and sweet. This morning, Hannah comes to me, " God made a little baby just for you!" she announces as she gently places her dolly in my arms. And instructs this "new" mommy, "You must rock her and feed her!"
To Heidi, i ask, "are you adorable?!" "No!" She says, "I'm Heidi". and the other night her daddy wanted her to say, "spaghetti". Her reply, " I tant!..I'm too little !" and she continues to refuse to say it upon request or even if bribed with candy, but if she forgets herself and is copying her sister, she can say it rather well. hmmm. Stubborn, I say !
And I'm looking forward to taking a trip with my baby and my man to Indiana this Thursday. He has a "business meeting" on Friday. It's only three hours or so long but his way is paid. I'm hoping for some fun quality time :)
When I started this blog I was thinking maybe I'd get on the subject of baking, but I guess not. Here's something though, I like to make..want to join me for some?